On the other end, Liang Du was already pale, his stomach churning and convulsing in waves.
“That damn lunatic Fang Yuan... Once we reach the 【God Selection】, I'm definitely going to kill her.”
His voice was barely a whisper. Pressing a hand against his agonizingly painful abdomen, he was practically slumping over the table in agony when out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a familiar pair of shoes. Fang Yuan’s high-pitched, shrill voice dropped down from right above his head.
“Brother, I already broke up with that guy. Why do you look so reluctant to eat? Do you refuse to forgive me? I’m sorry... I didn’t know you and my ex-boyfriend were actually in that kind of relationship...”
“I won't compete with you for him, Brother. Please don't be mad at me anymore, okay?”
Liang Du: “?”
Fang Yuan covered her face with one hand while using the other to pinch the inside of her arm under the table, forcing out a few real tears.
“I didn't mean to push that door open back then, and I didn't mean to see you two...”
Her voice wasn't loud, but she timed her words perfectly during a lull in the crowd's conversation.
The moment her words fell, an absolute uproar erupted.
“Holy crap, girl, girl, let me tell you, there’s a plot twist! Bestie! Coming for barbecue tonight was totally the right call!”
“That girl's brother is gay? No wonder! I was wondering what kind of guy dyes his hair sakura pink, wears a pink butterfly stud on his upper ear helix, and has such pale skin. He looked effeminate as hell!”
Liang Du knitted his brows together and stood up, about to speak.
Fang Yuan abruptly reached out and slammed a single hand onto his shoulder, pinning him to his seat so he couldn't budge.
“My dear brother, your little sister understands now. So your incontinence was also because of my ex-boyfriend, wasn't it, my dear brother?”
Ooh, this time it wasn't dodged by an "accident."
Fang Yuan raised an eyebrow. Pretending to be heartbroken, she pressed her hand tightly against his neck, her fingertips precisely choking his throat so that whatever he tried to say instantly turned into a wheeze.
This wasn't dodged either.
The force in her fingertips gradually increased, and she looked down to watch Liang Du's face flush red from suffocation.
Right at this tense, critical moment, a sudden sharp pain and spasm shot through the base of her thumb without warning.
A cramp.
Fang Yuan let go with immediate understanding, covered her face, and quickly ran away from the barbecue stand looking exceedingly heartbroken.
One second later and she would have burst out laughing.
On the other end, Liang Du fell into a fit of violent coughing. Bearing the excruciating pain in his stomach, he put on a decent smile and continued explaining to the group of diners.
Rounding the street corner, Fang Yuan ran right into Lin Xu.
The two were standing by the roadside when a car driving by as usual suddenly seemed unable to see them, speeding toward them with its high beams flashing.
Having anticipated something like this, Fang Yuan darted behind a fire hydrant in a quick stride. Lin Xu, having spotted the car from a distance, had already stepped out of the way as well.
The driver rolled down the window and apologized embarrassedly to them, muttering about how the brakes had failed a second ago only to return to normal now, before turning around and driving off.
“If you'd gotten hit again, I would’ve had to work overtime again.”
Lin Xu scratched her head.
“I went upstairs to check on that outdoor air conditioning unit earlier. It was a pure accident. For some reason, the bracket suddenly cracked—probably because it was old and couldn't bear the weight anymore. I've already contacted the manufacturer to have someone inspect their product quality.”
Fang Yuan glanced at the darkening sky, took a step toward the road, and then quickly took a huge step back a few seconds later.
A slipping electric scooter zipped right past the spot where she had just stepped, the terrified rider shouting apologies at her.
Lin Xu: “...?”
Fang Yuan turned to stare at her and took a few light, quick steps toward the street again.
Immediately after, several more accidents almost hit Fang Yuan.
A drifting bicycle, an electric scooter that suddenly accelerated out of nowhere, an electric moped leaning close while trying to avoid another vehicle...
There was even a dachshund that slipped, spun seven hundred and twenty degrees, and almost crashed into Fang Yuan’s leg.
The dog owner was terribly embarrassed, apologizing in even greater terror after spotting the gun at Lin Xu’s waist.
Watching the owner and dog leave, Fang Yuan stretched lazily, only for her clothes to get snagged on a nail in the wall.
Lin Xu: “Uh... I think... this has something to do with that Candidate for the God of Luck...”
Fang Yuan had dropped such obvious hints; if Lin Xu still couldn't figure it out, she would be an idiot.
Rescuing her clothes, Fang Yuan gave Lin Xu an approving nod.
“Alright, goodbye, Inspector Lin. I'm going back home to sleep. I hope you can pray that when I enter the house my key is still on me, that there’s hot water when I shower, that the toilet doesn't clog when I use it, that I don't accidentally wash my face with chili oil, and that my bed doesn't collapse while I'm sleeping. Thank you.”
Fang Yuan turned and walked toward home, every single step intertwined with various mishaps.
Lin Xu silently stared at the chaotic street, tiredly pulled out her badge to clip onto her chest pocket, and began working overtime.
Amidst all sorts of messy, miscellaneous accidents, Fang Yuan finally arrived at her front door.
The key was still on her.
But the key snapped!
The instant she pulled it out, it broke in half!
So Fang Yuan went to the kitchen corner to climb through the window.
But the window seemed to be stuck!
She couldn't get in!
This was Grandma's house, so she couldn't break the window. Taking out her PHS phone, she wanted to call a locksmith.
However.
The PHS was out of battery!
But it didn't matter.
Fang Yuan knew how to pick locks.
However.
While she was picking it, the wire broke off inside!
Such a perfect piece of wire broke right inside!
It's fine, it's fine. None of it matters.
At least if she couldn't get inside the house, she didn't have to worry about accidentally knocking over Grandma's ashes.
Time to go sleep in Central Park.
Just as Fang Yuan was thinking this, her ears twitched slightly, catching the sound of footsteps.
Jiang Qiehuo was carrying a bowl of fried noodles with a Passion Fruit Duo tucked under her elbow, looking exceedingly comfortable and content.
Her whole persona exuded the pure beauty and satisfaction of having gotten Meng Ying killed.
“Persimmon, do me a favor and call a locksmith, will you? You pay.”
Jiang Qiehuo: “?”
She really didn't understand this unreasonable request.
And besides.
“Who's a persimmon?!”
Fang Yuan cleared her throat: “I, Jiang Qiehuo, am no soft persimmon to be pushed around!!”
Her voice was so loud that pedestrians nearby all turned to look.
The buzz quickly exploded outward with Fang Yuan at the center.
“Holy crap! Isn't that the Candidate for the God of War? Am I seeing her in person???”
“Whoa, I heard she’s not just a Candidate for the God of War, she’s also a Candidate for the God of Illusory Dreams!”
“Holy cow! What are you standing there for? Take pictures!!”
Fang Yuan tossed her hair and immediately started giving "fan service" to the surrounding crowd.
Watching her pull off that entire sequence smoothly, anyone who didn't know better would think she had once been in the entertainment industry.
Jiang Qiehuo: “...” Disgusting.
She rolled her eyes and turned around to flee.
Fang Yuan hooked her knee with her toe and threw an arm around her shoulders: “Either call a locksmith for me, or give me a home.”
Jiang Qiehuo: “?”
Rate on N.U.
